Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Monsters Inside My Head

I don’t know where to start. That’s how confused I am. I don’t even know what to think anymore.
There’s a turmoil inside my heart. The more that I expect to see myself happier and more peaceful, the heavier the weight becomes. It’s like a thunderstorm brewing up inside me, dark and ominous, hovering, blocking the hint of light that keeps me sane.

People say “if you can’t beat them, join them.” But I refuse to belong to a system that violates virtues I hold on to. In moments when I am weak, I feel like succumbing would be the best resort. Or is it moments when I am strong? I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I had been strong at all. Maybe, I was simply unconventional from the beginning. Do I even belong?

My mind is spinning from incomprehensible thoughts. Ideals that contradict realities, disappointed expectations. What used to be simple has now become complex. How can I ever go back to the basics? Have I lost my track? Go back to the Philippines? Will it make things okay? Will it make things right? I know God can pick sense out of a confused prayer, but am I even capable of that?
Are these merely monsters in my head?

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Today is a Sunshiny Day

Just a quick one...

Today when I walked the kids to school, the sun was shining really brightly. The breeze was still chilly and cold but the sun offsets it. This is the kind of weather I described to my husband as something I prefer when he asked me before about it. His reaction was that it's a very rare one but yeah, that's what makes it more special I guess. I love the weather so much I felt like singing, "I can see clearly now the rain has gone..."

So I'm thankful for the weather today. For me, it's like an oasis after walking through the desert, or the calm after the storm, the light at the end of the tunnel.

Life had been very challenging the past few days in general. It's like getting beaten physically, emotionally and mentally. With all the adjustments we are going through with our new schedules right now, it's sad that aggravating situations that has been buried would come back to pull you down to bury you in the pits. And then there's sad news about people passing away in your life. Changes and challenges alike. But I'm thankful for the lessons. It burns and then it heals. No matter if everyone else turns their backs on us, we will strive and thrive with God's help. That is all that matters. The chance and hope...

So this sunshiny day reminds me, that there is time for sadness but this day is for happiness and silence and hope and finally... peace. So I wish everyone to be happy today, because a happy heart makes the face cheerful.

Have some tea!

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Forgiven Not Forgotten

Prologue: I hope the title of this post is not too controversial. This is not about disagreeing with the fact that to "Forgive is to Forget."

Please read on...

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Ice Breaker

I could sit all day in front of the PC writing, writing and writing... Still trying to find the time.

And the list of my pending posts are:

- Melbourne Trip 2016 - Day 2 Fitzroy Gardens
- Melbourne Trip 2016 - Day 3 Thanksgiving
- Melbourne Trip 2016 - Day 4 Concert
- Melbourne Trip 2016 - Day 5 Snow!
- First Timers in Canberra
- Family Rest Day After The Trips
- Demi on Public Speaking
- Thoughts: Who Am I?

Thank God the passion's back. Before, I used to have time, but all I could do was worry and get anxious and sulk.

Personally, when writing, finding the time is a lot easier task than finding the inspiration.

God willing, I will be able to  update my posts, one step at a time.

Thank you.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Melbourne Trip 2016 - Day 1

I can't believe it's turning 2 weeks now since we came back from Melbourne. As usual, things got busy at home and at work so there was really no time to have shared this adventure sooner. It was a short visit this year compared to last year nevertheless it was just as fun.

Anyway, the trip was packed with too many beautiful photos so I will post about them day by day.

Day 1 - 4 Aug 2016

We traveled by car on Thursday. We left Sydney around 5 in the morning and took us the whole day to get there including the stops. By the time we reached our booked accommodation at Docklands, the sun has set. Fortunately, the house was really nice and cosy. We were very exhausted from the travel but had a very comfortable sleep.

The house we stayed in this year was a huge improvement from the one we had last year - will post about it when I get the time. It was quite expensive and too spacious for just the 4 of us to be honest. So when we were at the house, the kids had fun playing hide and seek or just chilling inside the walk-in closet which they turned into their very own headquarters, while the husband was busy in the kitchen (as usual). As for me, I was in charge with managing our clothes and keeping the house in order.